It has been a peaceful day (save the annoying concepts and formulas that seem to go over my head).

I've thought- it's time to say goodbye to twenty years. It's like a row of memories rushing forth in my mind. Twenty years? Has it really passed? Gone.

I told my mom in a sad manner, "I want to be twenty forever."

Tomorrow is my twenty-first birthday. I have realized that the age is no matter, but the condition of one's heart. I want my heart to be pleasing in the sight of my Savior. To bring glory to him is my desire.

I thought about my crush today. To me, it doesn't make sense. It seems as if I want to grip on to an image in my mind and cling to it. He is not one who is in my life and that is for a reason. I try to tell myself that this is all so silly and yet it makes me suffer. What is the biggest thing to make me suffer? Longing. Feelings. I wish they would all go away. I hope that I will not be this silly in the future and not cling to images which are not real.

It is not always the enjoyable thing that is best for me. I thought (about) that yesterday when I thought how I waste so much time doing things which are not valuable, but my soul longs for the Truth, which comes from God alone.

Goodbye twenty years. I do not know how many years are left. Today's theme is a song by Ludovic Einaudi called Reverie. It is beautiful and fits my mood today. Goodbye today.