When I realized...

Wish
–verb (used with object)
1.
to want; desire; long for (usually fol. by an infinitive or a clause): I wish to travel. I wish that it were morning.
2.
to desire (a person or thing) to be (as specified): to wish the problem settled.

I was driving yesterday on the freeway when I realized something bad that had been brewing inside me. My long-time wish was convicting me. I realized with much grief that I had been covetous. I was wanting something I didn't have. I yelled at myself: "Why do you wish something for something you don't have!" I realized after longing for something for so long that I had been wrong in doing so.

Does not God know what I need? Yes. Isn't God the one who gives all good things? I was ashamed at my own self. I prayed for forgiveness in much distress.

I believe that if God doesn't bless something it won't be meaningful. Take for instance a trip. If God doesn't bless it and one is pursuing something outside of God's will, one will eat bitterness. I said to myself: "I don't desire to pursue what is not God's will, and without God's salvation I become like those who go down to the pit."

To desire isn't always wrong. I want my desires to line up with God's own. To love what he loves and hate what he hates, should not we desire this?

But what about small desires? Like a candy bar? Those are not necessaries. Like shoes or clothing. I do think that all things in one's life are formed from their own being. Who they are. What they eat and how often they eat, ect. I believe all things are directed by God. If He has the hairs on our head measured He can direct us in how to eat.

From experience, partaking in sweets is not as enjoyable if the sweets are often taken. Also, I know the fact that indulging oneself is not as enjoyable as treating others.

Broccoli, Pilates and Sisters.

Today is Dad's birthday, or as Lissie says: "Daddy's birthday." Liss talks in this funny toned voice as she says this (she and I can make weird sounds). I think there are sounds she makes I could never replicate. ( :

Today, I awoke at 5:56 AM and I was happy to have not have had walked this morning. We took a long walk on the beach yesterday. Jeff, Liss, Mom and me. I was so tired upon coming home that I was jealous of my 15-year-old sister, who hopped in a warm, relaxing bath. ) :

Meanwhile, I helped Mom with the broccoli. My Mom assured me if I soaked the broccoli in cold water, that if little bugs were present they would start to emerge. No little bugs retreated from their hiding places- so I guess we're safe.

We had a delicious dinner of mac n' cheese with broccoli (I love broccoli! I know this is weird.).

Today, I took it slow. I was however, anxious to get started, so I reminded Mom about the pilates. I like the Windsor pilates videos-very good and challenging. Mom was my sole partner; Liss had started school already.

I admit I got mad at my littlest sister's bad attitude. Ugh, I said I was glad I was going to work. I think (now) I should not of said so. I would not want to hurt her, but let me tell you: sisters can be fun and completely pains. I know this from experience. I wouldn't trade mine for the world, but they do drive me nuts.

The Hunt for Men

I have recently been on yahoo personals, and let me tell you- it is hilarious. Why? All these people posting a picture and paragraph advertising themselves.

It's like a meat market- which cut of meat is most appetizing. Is Anthony the decent looking college student the best choice? Or the scary looking guy named Fernando? It is just so silly that people think that they can find a lasting relationship online.

It is ridiculous to me that people think all about the outside. Where is wisdom?

I, in my life have put my trust in God. That means, no matter what issue I should seek his guidance and do it in faith.

Yes, God can find a husband for me. If I am meant to marry it will happen. I will judge a man by what comes out of him (his fruit) not by his looks (though if a handsome man comes along a young lady can't help but be struck).

My question is this: Is attraction meaningful? Yes, it brings two people together (that is a factor), but in the long run? I believe that in the long run it is commitment that cements a relationship. Also, the two must be built on the rock, which is Jesus Christ.

Tasks that need completing

Today I feel quite lazy. I know deep inside I should be turning to my studies. I feel quite overwhelmed at times by my slow manner in which I learn.

I know we all have our strengths and weaknesses and we must come to terms with them, but at times I wish I was better at some areas in which I am weak.

The task is not impossible but the way I learn is in increments and when I learn- oh what joy!

Yesterday, I took over shopping for my Mom. I wished my Mom hadn't taken the job organizing for my aunt and I felt sorry- leaving her and that she had accepted too much on her plate.

My Mom takes on too much at times. I wish she would let me and my younger sisters help her. I have been trying to help her with little tasks here and there. Mainly printing and helping her get to sites on the internet.

Well, I have to go help Mom fold the laundry.

Rain

I had a late start today.

Usually, I awake at fife-fifteen and walk two times around the loop which equals to the amount of four point six miles.

I thought my little sister assured me that she had set her alarm for six, but I never heard it go off. I felt like I was waking up on a weekend day, as I looked and saw the time was six-thirty.

I was joyous to see rain. The first thing I did was go to the side porch and slip on sandals and peer aimlessly out to the rainy sky. I was glad; my plant-lings could use the moisture.

The start of it all

First off, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Amy. I am the third eldest of seven. These facts, pushed aside are not who I am. What I am is defined by how God sees me. I will not submit myself to the order of mankind, but worship God in spirit and truth.

If you can imagine what it would be like to live in my shoes, I assure you I live a ordinary life day to day, but through God I am so much more different. I believe that God is the one who changes the wicked heart of man.

Man is fallen and needs salvation. I am no different.

I and my family have set ourselves away from the program of "church." We have cast off this system of "man" and have sought to be led solely by the spirit of God. We are not shepherded by a pastor but by the One who saves.

Faith comes from God and this faith causes us to cry out to God for guidance. In everything- how we eat, do for entertainment, exercise, work, ect.

-Elizabeth Nickelby